19 questions to ask at the Reception starters’ meeting

Many parents spend the summer before their child starts school teaching them the alphabet and how to write their name, but most Reception teachers would prefer you to focus on practical skills, such as being able to get changed for PE independently, recognise their name on their coat peg and wipe their own bottom.

The first day of school can be nerve-wracking for you and your child, and if you’re unsure about where you should be and when, your anxiety may rub off on your child. This is a good time to check where you should take your child on the first day: it may be different from the normal drop-off point.

Worried about your tiny four-year-old being steamrollered in the playground by the hulking great Year 6s? Find out whether they have a separate play area, or whether break times are staggered so the little ones aren’t intimidated by the older children.

The Reception teacher can fill you in on what you need to send your child to school with. At this stage, they’re unlikely to need their own pencil case, but you may need to provide items like a water bottle and wellies or trainers for outdoor play.

Following on from the previous question, find out what sort of school bag your child needs: is there an official book bag, and if so, do you need to buy one or will they be given one? Peg space is often limited, so bulky backpacks may be discouraged. The same applies to PE bags.

Many children struggle to settle in at school at first, but teachers have a wealth of experience in helping them adapt, and it can be reassuring to find out how they’ll handle any wobbles.

You’ll be given an official list of school uniform, but Reception teachers can often offer handy hints about what you actually need to buy. For example, they might recommend that girls wear socks rather than struggling with tights on PE days, or disclose that it’s fine to buy plain polo shirts rather than the official logoed ones.

In the interests of safety, schools will ask you to inform them about who will usually pick your child up at the end of the day. They may have a password system if someone different will be collecting them, or ask you to tell them in the morning if they’ll be going home with a friend.

All Reception children are entitled to a free school lunch, and it can be helpful to find out what sort of things are offered in advance, and who’ll help your child if they need assistance choosing their lunch or cutting up their food. If you’re sending them with a packed lunch, find out if certain things (nuts, chocolate, fizzy drinks) are banned.

Children will need a mid-morning snack to keep them going, so find out whether this is provided by the school, or whether you need to supply it – and if so, what it should be. You can also find out whether you need to sign your child up to have milk at school.

This is helpful to know, not just so you know when your child’s PE kit needs to be at school, but also so you can dress them in clothes that are easy to take off and put back on again.

Many Reception children are less than reliable at using the loo, and even children who’ve been toilet trained for years can slip up. Staff will be used to dealing with accidents, but it might put your mind at rest to keep a bag of spare clothes at school, for example.

Reading, writing and maths are taught very differently from when we were at school: for instance, many new parents have never heard of phonics – the system for teaching children to read. Your child’s new teacher may have hand-outs explaining their teaching methods so you can help them at home. TheSchoolRun also has complete guides to what your child learns in Reception maths, Reception English and Reception science.

Formal homework is rarely set in Reception, but the teacher will be able to tell you what sort of things you can be doing at home to supplement what they’re doing in the classroom, such as playing word or number games, testing your child on their phonics, hearing them read and reading to them at bedtime.

Schools will differ in when they start sending reading books home. Some will send them from the start of term; others may not until much later on, when kids have got a grasp on phonics. You can also ask on which days your child's books will be changed, so you can make sure you get through them in good time.

Bugs can spread quickly throughout schools, so you’ll need to find out about absence protocols, such as how you should notify the school if your child is off sick, and how long you need to keep them at home if they have a vomiting bug or headlice.

Schools are not supposed to authorise term-time holidays, and parents have been fined for taking their children out of school. Some schools are more flexible with Reception children who are not yet of compulsory school age (the beginning of the term after they turn five), but check before you book anything.

This will be your first chance to find out properly how your child is getting on at school, so it’s helpful to know when it’ll be so you can store up questions. Our beginner's guide to parent-teacher meetings will help you prepare!

We all need to speak to the teacher every now and then. Small queries may be dealt with by having a quick word in the playground or writing a note in your child’s reading diary, while for bigger concerns, you may need to email them or ask the office to arrange a meeting. But whatever the issue, knowing that you can reach your child’s teacher will give you peace of mind.